The Wonders Of Unrequitedness

“How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck; he would, as much as he could,
And chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.”

A slight change in the scenario. Here, the woodchuck is me, and the wood is the nail of my already short little finger. Hehe!!! Confession incoming: I am a nail-biter. I grow my nails, only for them to fall prey to my anxiety and get bitten by an angry kitten, which is none other than me. Huhu!!! I am sitting on my chair, biting my nails and gulping water. There’s a mini waterfall flowing gracefully along my three necklines. Did you know I am blessed with three beautiful necklines, which personally make me feel like a tabby cat? Purr!!!

Today, you and I shall climb the second ladder of exploration. This reminds me of the song “Harley’s in Hawaii by Katy Perry.” The verse that comes to my mind:

“You and I, I

Ridin’ Harleys in Hawaii-i-i

I’m on the back; I’m holdin’ tight, I

Want you to take me for a ri-ide, ride”

We are here together, exploring ladders of LSD, which stands for love, sex, aur dhoka or laddu, sambhar, and dhokla or learning spirituality daringly or learning, studying, and dozing off on a loop. You name it. Hehe!!! It’s all about experiencing thoughts, feelings, and vibrations while basking in the glory of each other’s presence. It’s about the middle ground between hatred and love. First, check out this non-sensical poem I wrote:

“Oh, dear human, so tender you are it makes me wonder

How do you not let your mind ponder upon the wonders of the world?

Once you start your wander to go beyond and discover the wonders,

you will be the wonder every other soul would ponder upon.”

I want to remind you that I was pretty exhausted when I composed the poem above. To me, it makes perfect sense. How about you? How do you feel? I would be happy to know your thought about my goofy philosophical poem. Hehe!

Let’s begin! Shall we?

Ladder No 2: The wonders of unrequitedness

Poor unrequitedness. From being unrequitedness to turning her into a damsel in distress, people have stolen her identity away from her. Nobody attempts to comprehend her properly. People are misinterpreting her and force her into a battle to win back her identity amongst people screaming definitions. Enter Amrutha The Occultist to the rescue. Together, let’s climb the ladder’s first step.

Step one of the ladder: Weighing scale balance of presence and absence

This is not about thoughts or feelings, or vibrations. This is about beingness. Here’s a quote… Oh well, it’s not exactly a quote, but it’s more like swiftly catching the essence of presences and absences before they vaporize.

“Presence is not

“You ask, and they give.”

Presence is

“They want, and you be.”

Know The Difference

If it isn’t so, then better let them be

and bless them with absence.”

When someone mentions the words “presence” and “absence,” all I can think of is carbon. Weird right? Well, you are currently reading the thoughts of a woman who’s got a master’s degree in data science, is an occultist by profession, and loves dallying with words. What do you expect? Harmony? Hehe!!! I have my theory. There are only two states of Carbon: solid and gaseous. A liquid state of Carbon does not exist. The liquid form resembles an in-between state with a set volume like a solid but none of the rigidity of gas. The same is true of a person’s beingness. One can either be fully present (solid-state) or wholly absent (the gaseous state with no rigidity and free flow). Beingness is solid; there is no limbo. The balance of presence and absence on the weighing scale can never be achieved. Either side will continue to be vacant. You might wonder how this relates to unrequitedness. That’s what we are going to witness here. Enter unrequitedness. All hail the queen of longing!

Step two of the ladder: “Absent-mindedness”

Here is a classic phrase we have all heard since school. “Body present, mind absent.” Now, examining its meaning, we may see that it portrays “Absent-mindedness.” There is no between. However, when the queen of longing is in action, she has a knack for making everything a snack. She warps the idea of “absent-mindedness” into a sensation that is meant to resemble having butterflies in one’s stomach. Guess what you end up having? In a word, longing. I know you love drama and are not looking for a quick answer. Allow me, your “drama queen,” to add a tiny bit of drama here, there, and everywhere.

Here’s how dramatic the queen of longing is. We know the importance-absence proverb, “We only comprehend one’s importance during their absence.” You feel the presence of a person even if they are miles away from you. Just like you and I, dear reader. I cannot speak for you, but here’s how my beingness works. These posts that I’m writing? They are more than just blog posts. They are my way of exploring my presence, its projection, and how it impacts everyone. I look for those tiny moments of surprise and smiles in life. It’s what longing does. You start treasuring even the smallest of moments. You look for any moment to celebrate beingness that you begin building your scenarios. This is how one creates their own “land of dreams.”

Step three of the ladder: “land of dreams”

In the land of dreams, where a white marble castle lends innocence to the night sky, the air smells like freshly blossomed roses. The stars, shining brighter than diamonds, beckon the secrets of darkness. A guy wearing a moon-white kurta slinks after a girl into the shadows as the full moon shines through the sky like a pearl. The girl’s body is delicately wrapped around in a web of magenta. Eyes enchanted with the allure of camphor-kohl, starlight sparkling through them, and a sly grin spread across her face; she’s scurrying from tree to tree. As the night wears on, the chase comes to an end. The guy finally gets the girl and embraces her from behind with his chin resting on her shoulder.

Fearing she might wriggle free and flee into the darkness, he slowly turns her to face him with a gentle yet firm grip. With a soft yet demurring smile, she stares into his eyes with her doe eyes. Charmed by the girl’s smile, he responds with a smile of his own that reminds her of the soothing fragrance of sandalwood. As they continue to look into each other’s eyes, the guy traces little circles along the wrist of the girl’s left hand. The guy’s right-hand slides down and rests at the small of her back. He pulls her closer to him. They are close enough to be already tasting each other’s breath. The girl rests her hands on his shoulders, fingers circling through his hair. He then leans forward and showers her cheeks with wistful kisses. As the kisses deepened, his lips swiftly moved to her lips. When his lips brush her lips, the air around them changes—the air’s fragrance changes due to the yearning they have for one another. From the smell of freshly blossomed roses, it transforms and smells overwhelmingly of night jasmine. As the air smells of night jasmine, they satiate their longing with fingers caressing the curves of one another and the taste of twisted tongues.

Passionate dream, right? That’s the charm of unrequitedness. It ignites passion in one’s soul. A passion that creates a sudden surge of energies spiking a desire for a presence. This reminds me of the song “The heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez.” Here’s the verse that comes to my mind:

“The bed’s getting cold, and you’re not here

The future that we hold is so unclear

But I’m not alive until you call

And I’ll bet the odds against it all

Save your advice ’cause I won’t hear

You might be right, but I don’t care

There’s a million reasons why I should give you up

But the heart wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants.”

A passion that is misunderstood and slowly unrequitedness starts losing her stand. People start mixing her up, transforming her, and defining her as a mountain of expectations.

Step four of the ladder: “Mountain of expectations”

In my past two years of working as an occultist, I have had many people ask for my help to “materialize” the life they want for themselves. It is exciting to see people establish standards for leading their life. It’s all good until this materialization “contradicts” what society expects one to accomplish in their life. This is when you are told you are “expecting.” You are told that your thoughts are a “mountain of expectations.” Coming to people, when you wish to be blessed by a person’s presence, it is termed as “people pleasing” when not reciprocated. Okay, I owe you a little clarification here. It’s all about the energies you invest in and how they are returned. Yes, suppose you are emotionally drained and deprived of leading an individual life, then what you do is not suitable for you. Establishing standards to lead a life and manifesting a person’s presence are expectations when one doesn’t know why they want what they want. Why? It’s because when one doesn’t have an answer to the “why,” it makes one greedy. Here’s the deal. It all comes down to how powerful the words are. “Words are Portals.”

Step five of the ladder: “Words are Portals”

Let’s consider that establishing a life of standards and wanting to be around the presence of a person are expectations. There’s a difference between the two. The sole distinction between the two is that in the former, you expect from the universe, while in the latter, you anticipate from a person. Okay, you know what? I’m not too fond of the term “expectations.” It implies guilt. Why should one feel guilty for wanting something? How about we use the word wishful thinking instead of expectation? See how more promising the whole vibe of the scenario is now. Words matter. They hold power to switch a person’s whole vibe. Do you know what that does? It unlocks opportunities. And so, I say, “Words are Portals.” This reminds me of the song “One kiss by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa.” The verse that comes to my mind:

“One kiss is all it takes

Fallin’ in love with me

Possibilities

I look like all you need.”

My verse would be like this:

“One word is all it takes

Livin’ in peace with yourself

Individuality

It truly is all one needs.”

The bottom line of everything is it’s about greed, darling. Allow me to create my quote.

“One who is free from the claws of greed is flawless for life.”  The key is for you to know what you want and why it is that you want it. Surround yourself with energies that bring out the best in you and help you express your individuality. Where does unrequitedness fit in the party, you say? It’s the “life of the party.”

Step six of the ladder: “Life of the Party”

Do you know the song “Life of the Party by Shawn Mendes”? The verse that comes to my mind:

“I’m tellin’ you to take your shot; it might be scary

Hearts are gonna break

‘Cause we don’t have the time to be sorry

So baby, be the life of the party.”

If it weren’t for the longing in one’s life, one wouldn’t find the inspiration to aspire—all hail to unrequitedness, the queen of longing who inspires us to aspire through life’s hurdles. As we long for each other’s presence, let’s climb more of these unexplored ladders.

Yours lovely,

Amrutha The Occultist 😀